I reflect with amazement what I have been through since diagnosis 12/30/10, as life can almost seem somewhat, a wee bit, "normal" now.
I do often, very often, think how different my outcome COULD HAVE BEEN, and therefore how very different what I would be writing here today, would be...
I do reflect and take pause when others seem so affected by my diagnosis, treatments, hospitalization, recovery process and current appearance, and I wonder why I don't feel quite as stunned and shocked?
Perhaps it all hasn't REALLY fully sunk in yet?
Perhaps I just jumped aboard the Cancer Cruise and just did what I had to do... and presumptuously EXPECTED a good outcome??
Perhaps I haven't fully digested all this yet?
Perhaps it REALLY hasn't hit me yet???
Perhaps because I don't feel too horrible all the time and I hear far worse diagnosis and treatment stories... I don't really feel "cancerous"?
Perhaps... my bad memories are fading already?
Maybe if I had a disfiguring cancer or a more visible cancer
Maybe if I had an organ or body part removed
Maybe if I had to suffer even more than I did
Maybe then, I would REALLY feel like I HAVE cancer?
When meeting people I tell my story matter of factly
When thinking about having cancer I don't think I actually connect with it yet
When hearing people's reactions and responses, I then think, wow, I guess I really have been thru a lot!
Honestly, I feel so very, very lucky-
That I didn't have to endure cycles and cycles of hard core IV chemo
That I didn't have to endure Radiation at all
That I didn't have to endure a Tandem (2nd) stem cell transplant
That I didn't Puke my guts out for days and weeks
That I didn't get those awful chemo mouth Sores
That I didn't gain or loose extreme amounts of Weight
That I only had to be Hospitalized once, and for only a Month
That my Myeloma wasn't Multiple bone lesions Myeloma
That my Neuropathy has stabilized a bit... or have I just learned to live with it
Yes, although I do have an incurable cancer, I feel pretty good most of the time :)
I feel so blessed to have the fantastic medical support system I do
I feel so blessed researchers discovered chemos Revlimid, Cytoxan and Melphan KILLS Myeloma
I feel so blessed to have the amazing human support system I do
I feel so blessed to have been Diagnosed, Treated and determined to be in Remission in just 8 months!
And, strange... I never went thru the true cancer-bald stage, but just a boy-buzz that grew into a ton of wavy new hair, that actually grew so much, so fast, that I now get to trim it and experiment with trendy and goofy styles...
As promised, here's Ms Poodle's new Do:
Groomed and Trimmed
Poodle no more!
Dang, lots of hair...
Me and Chemo do just fine
Goldilocks no more...
Hello instantaneous middle age
My lil zebra decided to torment me with her new Goldilocks
Christine our amazing hair artist, entertained by my ever-present wackiness
Not the best representation of our new Do's, as the lighting was off
but Alissa's Blonder now and I'm all Naturraal!!!
Since then, I have swiped Scott's years-old spiking gel and I'm wrestling with the grey waves, and going for the Porcupine look! Thank you Myeloma, I'm having fun creating a new style everyday!PS- for those with Myeloma reading this... Revlimid chemo seems to enhance my hair... Cytoxan and Melphalan chemos thinned my original hair slowly, before it was replaced by my new hair
