And just when I was trying to have a little fun...
This Happened!
Oh well... my current life can be summed up as:
Trying to be (somewhat)
Normal under (very) Abnormal circumstances.
And so it goes...that fine line between “tragedy and humor”. I have
endless amounts of both in my current life. My "tragedies" are quite humorous (at least to me), and I prefer to find as much
humor in my ridiculous circumstances as possible.
But before I continue with my story, READ NO FURTHER if you are
tired of my “Chew and Poo” stories, or squeamish about biological functions
stories :))
If you know me, or have followed my blog for a while, you
know by now that one of my greatest myeloma challenges is my sudden, surprising, volcanic lower GI side effects. In as much as I can, I try to plan (the few) social events, work,
and things outside my house on my “good GI days”. Truth be told, my most effective "anti-poo" technique is to “starve” myself
prior to events, just so I don’t have to worry about GI surprises. Not healthy, but it works! So on GI
challenging days I just stay home, knowing my unpredictable and without much warning GI events, can Hit me Fast! Yet I'm not ready to stay home all the time, dang it!! As much I as I try to manage and predict my chemo and medication side effects, my body has other plans for me… and At the Most INOPPORTUNE times!
This story is about that!
So in my effort to have some semblance of quality of life,
do a few bucket list items, and just have fun, I recently entered
my cute lil Bug in a VW car show. My cancer story and picture were even featured on their event website! I rounded up several friends,
neighbors, students, etc, to enter their VW’s too. So of course, I had to be
there! No option for cancellation, stupid cancer and poopy side effects!
Knowing this was an evening event, and Jim and I would be
gone from the house for 4+ hours, I knew we had to eat something hours prior to
the show. So I made us what I thought would be bland, benign and easily
digestible: a delish veggie, cheese, cucumber, tomato,
basil, herb sandwich.
All seemed to be fine as late afternoon, I readied my Bug for the show. Then
SUDDENLY, I began to feel that telltale GI unrest 30 min before we were supposed
to leave to meet our group!! Dang you chemo side effects! I just couldn’t believe my BAD luck, and
immediately regretted eating. Dumb me for
breaking my own rule of No Eating Prior to Events! I thought of calling all my VW
buddies to let them know to go ahead of me. But dang it GI system, NO!, you’re
not going to ruin my fun! So off we went to the show, me trying to mentally
will my GI to calm down and be ok! Gurgle, gurgle, rumble, rumble...
So sweet! So cool!
Wow! It was like a giant VW
block party! Beetles, Buses, Karman Gias, Things, etc. So cute, so fun, so many
colors, so much love and care that goes into everyone’s “babies”. People
recognized me and my lil Bug from the website and asked about my “Bucket List
Bug” story. Chat Chat, laugh laugh, Hi Hi, meet meet, greet greet, and
thennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn… ggggrrrrrrr… rumble
rumble, grumble grumble went my gut more! I continued to chat, thinking I could mentally will
this impending GI doom away… but suddenly I realized I was in BIG, urgent trouble!
I turned to my son and asked him how far away he parked his car, and maybe he should
take me home. As more angry, fierce, GI gurgling gurgled, I knew I was doomed, and wouldn't even make it to his car, to get me home to my own bathroom! I'm in a little desperate panic at this moment. I just stood still, hoping the GI volcano would calm...
And just in the nick of time, Not Kidding, I noticed two lovely Porta-Potty's were, oh so ironically, placed not far from where we parked. Seriously, the irony was so very laughable! I just couldn't believe our group had randomly parked by the Potties! Well if
you know me, you know I am no fan of public bathrooms, not to mention
porta-potties! I’m thinking, GREAT, I’ll be spending the rest of the show inside
a frikn porta potty on a public parking lot!. Because when the GI volcano errupts, it's no short experience, like a "normal person" visiting the bathroom. My Revlimid chemo is the best "Cleanse" out there!
I really couldn’t believe what was
happening to me, and of course, during the rare, leave my house event I planned. But knew I was running out of time and choices, and I had to act fast, Really Fast... Well friends, I will spare you any
more GI details here… I think you understand the "urgency" of my circumstances. I’ll just say Thank You to the show organizers for your ever so unbelievably ironic and convenient Porta Potty placement, right by my lil cute Bug, just for me tonight! Go, Julie, Go. Be brave, step carefully into that portable potty, that is saving your life tonight!
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LOL! you can see me back there in front of the strategically placed potties! |
As I'm "sitting" there, thinking I'll pass out... I'm thinking... Wow, ME- immune compromised cancer patient on
chemo, inside a public porta-potty! Can't be! It’s dark now, and I’m feeling mentally shocked and
GI awful!.. and suddenly I couldn’t help but remember that crazy “Jackass Show” where the
guys went on a gross porta-potty tipping escapade. OMG!… what if some “hoodlum”
kids decided to porta potty tip, tip me over?! OMG, I'm just dying in so many ways, sitting there...
Well on a positive note, there was a hand sanitizer dispenser! And it appeared, or smelled lol, that my potty had been recently "serviced", thank goodness!
I eventually made it back to the show, mingled with all
my VW pals and tried to have as much fun as I could, even though I was “traumatized”
by my GI sabotage, and couldn’t wait to get home… well, you know why…because... well when the volcano erupts... it's an all-nighter...
So what have I learned?
As much as I try to be normal, I’m
not. As much as I want to do things, I really can’t. As much as I think I can
outsmart my chemo side effects and GI system, I can’t. As much as I think I’m in control of my body,
I’m not. As much as I think I can win this cancer battle, I have to realize
there is absolutely NO predicting what my body is going to do to me! And this is my "forever" situation, thanks to myeloma incurable nature.
The next day I took my Dex steroids and had a welcomed GI
respite for about 48hrs!! I’m not sure what happened,
but mid-day Sunday, I started getting so sick again, and suffered throughout
the afternoon, into the evening and night. I felt so awful I couldn’t even
finish this blog and post it. Finally now able to keep some ginger tea and ginger
cookies in me. Ugh...so exhausted...or should I say... "pooped out" ;)
Perhaps I should rename this blog: Julie’s Adventures in
Poo-land!
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Thank you lil Bug for my super fun and funny adventures! |
Live happy, live well, and make a difference somewhere, somehow,
with someone or something as often as you can!