Hellooooo Everyone :)
It's a Chemo Dex Day, so here I am up late posting and should be "forcing" myself to sleep. Off to bed I go, see you in the morning!
Oh, Dexamethasone how I love you Now, but how I will hate you Later! You pump me up, prop me up and fake-energize me. You temporarily let me feel "like me" again for 2 days. But how I hate you when you crash me later. As much as I read and ask, I still do not understand the bio-chemical-physio of HOW steroids work on the body. One thing for sure, my body does react well to Dex steroids and my type of myeloma runs scared from Dex.
It's clear now.
If I take a break, my numbers go up. If I stay the course, I maintain livable levels. My labs this month revealed this. This sounds like "Duh Julie", but it really brings home my reality. Myeloma is incurable, it quickly comes roaring back, and as much as I would like to believe I will be ok, I am reminded monthly, I AM NOT! Sorry I mention over and over that I cannot believe I have myeloma. Yes, "Numbers Don't Lie", so slowly I am accepting I have incurable cancer and myeloma owns me. Writing it out here helps me. Telling you here helps me process my reality. Thank you, my invisible friends.
There's much discussion in "MyelomaVille" regarding aggressive treatments with the goal of "Remission" vs viewing myeloma as a "Chronic Illness" and continually treating it. 6+ years into this, having had "aggressive" treatments at onset and diagnosis, resulting in remission after my Stem Cell Transplant, which was only maintained with (almost) continuous myeloma meds, I am now on the "This is Forever and Chronic" bus. The race to "cure" and "remission" with intense, aggressive, body organ compromising treatments is overrated in my mind. I know I will ALWAYS need to be in treatment to keep myeloma from killing me, but I am ok with this. I know of too many, that were either too aggressive or too complacent. Tortoise treatment pace is ok with me, if I have some semblance of quality and happiness each day.
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| Aren't you just so "pretty" myeloma |
Earlier this month, I had completed week #1 of Kyprolis + Dex, then had my weird scary heart issue (see my previous post for details). As a result, I skipped treatment week #2 as my oncologist and pharmacist did not want me doing my regular infusions, until the heart issue was further looked into and results from the heart tests were read. I've since found out I have a condition called PVC - (Premature Ventricular Contractions) with "normal irregularities". Not a huge concern, but we're watching and being aware..
But as a result of this little scary episode, I only did 4 Kyprolis infusions vs the normal 6 per cycle in a month. Yep, myeloma took advantage of that, and UP went my IgA. Yep, an eye opener for me, as I always think, "Oh, skipping treatments won't make a difference"... well ha!! Skipping the one week, and then cancelling (my choice) the "make up" week, sure gave myeloma the upper hand again, but gave me the reality check I always need. I am so stubborn and such a hard-learner about this. If I could only get rid of my "magical thinking", and fully accept I am a cancer patient for life... Crazy how missing 2 treatments had such an impact.
So back I go, like a good chemo patient. Beginning cycle #7 yesterday. Monday Tuesday. Monday Tuesday. Monday Tuesday into May. Kyprolis and Dex you are my best friend and worst enemy, but you keep me alive. I embrace the Good days, and accept the Bad days. The chemo lab is my "new office".
Hi-Ho, Hi-Ho, off to chemo I go.
Now if I can only master the art of taking a good selfie
without the double and triple chin effect lol
Panda says: Chemo in, Side effects out! lol
I cut a banana the other day, and the pieces fell into a smile!
My version of a "banana split!"
Here's my stats for perspective:
Immunoglobulins explanation
(I'm IgA myeloma)
Normal IgA = 70 - 400, Normal IgG = 700 - 1600, Normal IgM = 40 - 230
Date IgA IgG IgM
10/18/15 1890 240 < 18
11/18/15 1440
233 < 18
12/2/15 862
230 < 18
12/30/15 482
262 < 18
1/18/16 426
228 < 18
1/27/16 432
221 < 18
2/10/16 551
227 < 18
2/28/16 635
226 < 18
3/22/16 533 242 < 17
4/17/16 717 251 < 17
4/17/16 717 251 < 17
M Protein: PROTEIN ELECTROPHORESIS RESULT, SERUM
Normal = 0
Aug = 1.01
Sep = 1.37
Oct = 1.58
Nov = 1.12
Dec and Jan = Not Detectable! thank you Kyprolis + Dex
Feb = 0.62 Ugh! Quite a jump in a short period of time
March = "Abnormal", but no M-Protein number mentioned
April = Abnormal, but M Protein value not detectable
Be sure to check out Dr Durie's awesome informative videos here.
Aren't animal relationships so amazing!
I am so grateful to still be here
and live the beauty of another day!
and live the beauty of another day!
Today in the chemo lab I met a lovely patient who has just been diagnosed with end stage cancer. She commented that "her doctor gave her 4 months". She was quite upset with this prognosis and felt she should have been given "more hope and more options". I told her my cancer is "terminal" and incurable. I told her I've known this since diagnosis. I've known my precarious status for 6+ years now. Sometimes it's better knowing "the truth" and knowing the "medical prognosis". I told her I knew my status from "Day One" and that helped me be strong and make the choices I did. She mentioned she's considering not continuing with harsh traditional chemo anymore and trying "holistic naturopathic options". I mentioned I have had great success with "traditional chemo and traditional treatments". I let her know I've been battling 6+ years with up and down success, but I'm still here and so grateful. One treatment at a time. One day at time, one month at time. Keep coming back. Don't give up. There are so many options now. I commented that "Less IS More" and it does come down to "Quality of Life"... Too many are fixated on Cure and Remission. I gave her encouragement to "stay the course", follow her oncologists' recommendations, read a lot online about her type of cancer, be informed, know your options, go to support groups, consult with trusted others, don't lose hope. Every day matters. She said I "inspire her" with my effervescence and sunny personality. I thanked her, and said I hope to see her next week at our weekly infusions. She hopes so too.
As I walked out I reflected on my "terminal" status. I reflected on how lucky I am that treatments have "worked" for me. Yes I've been through 5 chemos, countless types of treatments and countless other supportive medications, but I am still here. I thought about what I would do if I KNEW I only had a few months...
What would I "do" if I REALLY Knew My Time Was Up?...
What would I "do" if I REALLY Knew My Time Was Up?...
Live happy,
live well, and make a difference somewhere, somehow, with someone or something
as often as you can!
Isn't it amazing how just skipping a few treatments and up the numbers go. At least, you know how sensitive the Cancer cells are to the krypolis. So that's a good thing. I think your selfie is great. Mine can be really scary!!!
ReplyDeleteBest to you. I'm off for my Velcade today. This is cycle 5!!
Lol Christina! Yes most of my selfies are scary. I did receive a tip to tilt the phone camera angle from the top, not bottom up, to avoid the chin issue, lol. Will try that next time. Yes, my MM is very sensitive to Kyprolis and Dex. Dex especially! How I love and hate that medication! Glad you are doing so well on Velcade too! Thanks for checking in! xoxo
ReplyDeleteNice post Julie, and I am relieved to read that the heart issue isn't a hug concern, scary as it was! Glad Krypolis is working, as long as you stay the course, so keep it up! Your roses are so beautiful...I hope you cut them to enjoy inside as well! Thankful you could use your gifts as a counselor to encourage a fellow cancer patient who needed some good advice. Hopefully she took it to heart. Keep on keeping on, one thing at a time!
ReplyDeleteSorry, that should read "huge" concern, but you can keep the hug! :)
DeleteHi sweet friend :)) Thank you so much for your support Linda. Yes me and Kyprolis/Dex are good friends against Myeloma. Takes a toll on me, but doing a good job! EZ and I are very blessed that our treatments are so successful, going strong 6 years later! Thanks for the "huge hug" :))) I wish this blog had more edit options like facebook does. Love and hugs your way! xoxo
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