Here's some inspiring and thoughtful thoughts from others:
by another blogger diagnosed with the evil Myeloma:
Sean’s Burgundy Thread: Dear Multiple Myeloma-
Ugh! I've been sick more than well recently and I am not fond of not feeling well.
Everyone thinks I am so strong for handling cancer as I have, but honestly friends... I really am not that strong at all. I am strong when I feel well. I am not that strong when I don't feel so well. Suffering for days with a fever leads me down philosophical roads of unsettling realities...
These last 2 high fever viruses that attacked me have awakened NEW realizations of OLD realities... that my immune system really is compromised due to an "immune system cancer", and naive me, I really do have to continue to be ultra
I've tried to trace the trail of my recent illnesses, and the only thing I come up with is that I slacked off on staying in my sterile bubble. I tried living life somewhat "normally" again...
I slacked off a bit and shook some hands, hugged some friends
I slacked off a bit and opened some doors without a protective tissue
I slacked off a bit and ate at buffets and restaurants and risked cross contamination galore
I slacked off a bit and threw caution to the wind and went places, had fun, commingled with people in public places.
I slacked off a bit and started scheduling appointments with random students.
I slacked off a bit by being "normal", and paid for it... dearly... with piercing pounding headaches which lead to high fevers for days on end, which lead to crazy viruses in my upper and lower body... I will spare you the details.
I felt awful and I don't do well when I feel awful.
Awful takes the helium out of my happy filled balloons.
Sorry, I really am not that brave and strong when I don't feel good.
I have learned my lesson:
Hello stupid antibacterial cautious bubble life...AGAIN
Hello to being forced to accept I am not a well person and facing up to the reality that I won't ever be "cowgirl-well" again.
Hello to being sick of being sick, but having little choice in the matter.
I don't like not having choices
I don't like external factors controlling me
I don't like being sick and I don't do well not being well.
I have never been of the victim mentality and I don't like being victimized and controlled by cancer!
But, I am better now and I do thank what minimal immune system I do still have, for battling on my behalf!
I think I should know by then, what treatment plan they have in mind for me...
Just in time for my November birthday,
Cheers! Happy November cancerous birthday to me!
So on a happier note, on Saturday when I could finally walk without being dizzy and dared being away from the bathroom, Scott said... "Mom, let's go for a drive in your bug! That will make you feel better!" and feel better it did! Here's to our first 5 mile road trip (to Coco's and back lol!) in the "baby blue tin can bug", with Scott driving and the rest of us praying we survive!
You are stronger than you think. All of your friends are here for you in any way that you need. I love you a lot and really enjoyed seeing you on Saturday. You are an amazing woman and your strength will get you through this! Stay strong and let others help you when you aren't feeling as strong as you'd like. You are in my daily prayers. Love always, Leslie
It IS hard to be happy when you don't feel well! So sorry to hear you have been under the weather...how quickly we forget when we're feeling well, how fragile the immune system really is! EZ is suffering from a cold right now and though he rarely runs a fever when he is sick, it's no fun and seems to take forever to get over! Glad Scott got you outside to enjoy the scenery from inside your Baby Blue Bug. Will be praying for your upcoming appointments and that you will tolerate the treatment and beat that MM back into submission...I know you can!! In the meantime, your hubby is the sweetest with those roses and I love your little birdie friend. Sure wish we could share a cup of coffee together!!ReplyDelete
Thanks for letting us know you are feeling better and are out and about.GladReplyDelete
you are enjoying your bug.Jim sure does a great job on flowers!Let us all
know on appointments.We are all praying.Stay strong.