Here I sit pondering the last moments of my 55th year on this beautiful, yet conflicted earth, as my personal clock rolls over to 56. I am overwhelmed by so many thoughts and so much going on in my life and others'...
I have incurable cancer... yet so fortunate to be treated with miraculous life lengthening chemicals, which are extending my life beyond original expectations.
I have survived this deadly, terminal cancer now for 6 years, due to the expert care I received by my beautiful, intelligent, deeply caring Hematologist/Oncologist Dr Soon-Ki Lee...
Now...
I am here... she is not...
Today I attended her funeral/memorial service and my heart is absolutely broken. Broken that her life was so abruptly cut short, by her own sudden medical complication. How can this be? I just don't understand this complicated life. It makes less and less sense to me, the older I get.
Why am I still here, and she is not?
The absolute irony of her diagnosing and treating my terminal illness, helping to extend my life and I am still here... and she is not. She's younger than me, smarter than me, she saved my life, and gave her life in medical service to others... and now she's gone.
My heart just aches for her family. For her husband and teenage children and all her loved ones, I briefly met today.
Goodbye beautiful, caring, intelligent Dr Lee. Such a special lady I care so deeply for, who impacted my life so profoundly, for whom I and my family are eternally grateful. Goodbye Dr Lee, you are my "Angel-Doctor" now...
I cannot wrap my head around this loss...
Forward life goes...
We are
(Thank you Rachael for this awesome picture!) ... |
Life moves forward
Happy doggies
55 turns into 56
5 turns into 6
5 years since myeloma diagnosis, becomes 6 years in December
5 years ingesting, injecting chemotherapy, becomes 6 years in January 2016
5 years since Stem Cell Transplant will become 6 years July 2016
5 years trying to wrap my brain around cancer and it's impact on my life, becomes 6 years
Posting on the 5's, will become posting on the 6's
But 5 and half years will be that Forever, the time I had with beautiful Dr Lee...
Live happy, live well, and make a difference somewhere, somehow, with someone or something as often as you can!
So sorry to hear about your hem/onc. So young! can you share what happened .? I'm glad the Krypolis is going well. I just had my labs and we"ll see how the Pom is working next week. I go in Wednesday to see my doctor and get Zometa. Geez the day before thanksgiving with Sacramento traffic is not going to be fun...
ReplyDeleteTake care and Have a good Thanksgiving... I hope you can eat some:)
Hi Christina, I look forward to hearing how Pom works for you. That's a next generation from Rev? I've heard of it, but will read more about it. And I hear cautions with Zometa and bone deterioration issues, look up ONJ related to it. Happy Thanksgiving to you too :)
DeleteI've been on zometa quite a while and do know about ONJ. I use to be on Aredia but wanted the shorter infusion of Zometa. I'm only getting about every 5 months so not too bad.
DeleteOn the other front, after seeing my doctor yesterday, we decided Pomalyst is not working for me, so I will start Velcade subq next week. Actually I'm excited to start as I'm pretty sure my rib pain is an active or maybe a new lesion. No rib fracture that the X-ray shows, but he said its probably a lesion acting up.
Hi Julie, I'm writing an article for a consumer guide to multiple myeloma, and I would love to interview you. If you're interested, please e-mail me at: debinct69@gmail.com. I would love to do the interview before Thanksgiving. Thank you! Debbie Olsen
ReplyDeleteHi Debbie, Thank you for contacting me about writing the article. I'm glad you found me and we connected yesterday, and I look forward to seeing your completed article :) What a small world it is! Thank you, and Happy Thanksgiving to you and your family!
DeleteJulie
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry to here about Dr. Lee
My heartfelt condolences to you and their family. Love, Suzanne
Thank you Suzanne! I don't think I will ever get over the shock of her passing. Such a beautiful woman, inside and out. Thank you for all your support Suzanne! xoxo
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