12.19.19
10 years ago yesterday, 12.18.09, I had my first Bone Marrow Biopsy.
The physical pain was excruciating, but it was the psychological effect that was even deeper. I was suddenly participating in a medical world that I couldn't relate to, or wrap my head around. Being sick, seriously sick that is, was just not part of "my plan" or "who I was".
I was on a ride I couldn't believe I was on. I was thrown onto a roller coaster I couldn't comprehend, nor accept. I heard new medical words and terms that I had never heard before. I followed my Dr's lab test assignments as if I was doing it for someone else. Everything became an out of body experience. I was robotic about so much. My life at that time was a combination of normalcy, disbelief, not feeling well, denial, yet still a sense of nothing had really changed. I began to read things online, but "cancer" truly didn't enter my thoughts, and no one had yet said that word...
Yet...
My next "Hematology" (still "Hema-whhaattt?"), appointment was scheduled for Dec 30, 2009. The day that changed my life forever... that changed everything about me forever. But I didn't know it at this time, 10 years ago...
Holidays, fun, friends and family was the plan in the meantime. My Dr had put me on Iron pills for my extreme Anemia, and some other meds too, I can't recall now, and ordered more Labs for after Christmas. And more Labs. Every time my Labs came back, she ordered more. I wasn't able to see the Abnormal ones online....
Life moved forward fairly normally. I went about all the things we did around holidays. Busy busy, party party. Yes, I still had all my symptoms, but I never ever thought about me having a serious diagnosis...
10 years ago I was "dying" from cancer that was eating me up alive, and I had no clue...
What my Bone Marrow Biopsy revealed on 12.30.2009 was shocking!!!
I'm still in shock...
Back in the day when we were healthy...
this was maybe 2003!
I'm so sorry. I really cared for you, and still care that you be well. I've had bad news myself, recently, so I know better than to criticize. You're doing such good, keep it up. God Bless You, Always.
ReplyDeleteHi "Obnoxious Jim"- I commented on your previous comment too, so please read that one also. And please let me know if we know each other, and how.
DeleteI appreciate you reading my blog and commenting, so please tell me more about you and your struggles too. Cancer, Myeloma? Something else? "Everyone has "something", as I used to counsel my students... Everyone has struggles and challenges... I write candidly and honestly about mine for the world to read.
And yes I am doing "good" for what my crazy circumstances are. I am in complete disbelief of my life, my diagnosis, my husband's diagnosis and decline. Pretty crazy to have two people with terminal illnesses at the same time...
Please let me know your diagnosis, or "bad news", and let me know how we know each other, or how long you been following my blog. Hope you feel better with your challenges. Thank you for reading and commenting Jim.
I appreciate you reading and commenting Jim.